Friday, March 20, 2009

what boys don't know

i saw my face in the mirror earlier today.

i saw the lines lining the forehead and slowly creeping around the eyes. i saw the shimmer of oil on the surface of every single pore, disturbed only by a spot dried by the saltiness of tears- the kind that you shed upon waking up from a bad dream.

it was a nightmare- chased by my own people's ghosts. hugged tightly by my deceased loved ones- so tight that that i felt i was joining them shortly.

i woke up crying because i felt bad- running away from them, resisting their embrace.

but i was fighting to live. i wanted so hard to live. or so i felt.

then i woke up.

and i am alive.

but so are guilt and shame.

2 comments:

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  2. I'm worried about you Karl. Just focus on the positive okay. Keep flirting with the baristas. I'll see you soon. I just need to get my damned *%+$#% schedule fixed.

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